Breathe the Air and Walk the Streets

Per request of my aunt Lori, I am updating my blog.

I went to Tiburon last weekend and explored the area with my friend who is housesittin g up there -- it was beautiful, although my little Echo felt a little out of place parking between all the Jaguars.

My apartment is slowly becoming mine. I put up curtains and my paintings and such from Africa.

I'm reading a really good book by the president of Compassion International called Too Small to Ignore. You should read it.

This school year has been great so far. My class is sooooo good and fun and happy. I'm bringing them a pet snake tomorrow, so it should be a fun day.

In high school I had a CD by Caedmon's Call that I liked, but I never really understood the lyrics. The writers must have been about 24 years old when they wrote them, because now it's my favorite CD and everything makes sense.

Here is my recent favorite song, sorry it's a little long:

Faith My Eyes, by Caedmon's Call

As I survey the ground for ants
Looking for a place to sit and read
I'm reminded of the streets of my hometown
How they're much like this concrete that's warm beneath my feet

And how I'm all wrapped up in my mother's face
With a touch of my father just up around the eyes
And the sound of my brother's laugh
But more wrapped up in what binds our ever distant lives

But if I must go
Things I trust will be better off without me
But I don't want to know
Life is better off a mystery

So keep'em coming these lines on the road
And keep me responsible be it a light or heavy load
And keep me guessing with these blessings in disguise
And I'll walk with grace my feet and faith my eyes

Hometown weather is on TV
I imagine the lives of the people living there
And I'm curious if they imagine me
Cause they just wanna leave; I wish that I could stay

And to visit places from my past
But only for an hour or so
Which is long enough to smell the air
To tell the tale and find the door

But I get turned around
I mistake some happiness for blessing
But I'm blessed as the poor
Still I judge success by how I'm dressing

So I'll sing a song of my hometown
I'll breathe the air and walk the streets
Maybe find a place to sit and read
And the ants are welcome company

And I'll walk with grace my feet and faith my eyes
And I'll walk with grace my feet and faith my eyes

This Is What We Were Made For

“When good is found and we embrace it with abandon, we embrace the Giver of it. Yes, in church on Sunday at 10:30 a.m., but also in the seemingly mundane. In traffic on Tuesday at 5:15 p.m. In a parent-teacher meeting. In the colors of a sunset. On the other end of a tragic phone call. Every second is an opportunity for praise. There is a choosing to be made. A choosing at teach moment. Find God moment by revelatory moment, in the sacred and the mundane, in the valley and on the hill, in triumph and tragedy, and living praise erupting because of it. This is what we were made for.” -- David Crowder, Praise Habit

Questioning

My Colbie Caillat CD is playing for the 3rd time this evening and it is perfect background music.

Nothing seems right. I kind of thought I had life figured out, but then everything fell apart. Everything I thought was good and right suddenly seems pointless and worthless and useless. I don't really know what to do because nothing I do seems right and maybe there is no right. I don't know what my purpose is. I don't know why I'm here.

Maybe it's just the end of a year. My kids are leaving me. My kids who I've spent 178 days with. Who love me. Who I didn't put enough care into. Who are moving onto 3rd grade lacking skills and lacking character because I didn't teach them everything they needed to know.

Going to church, to Bible study, always seemed the right thing to do. And I loved it. But my church activities ate up so much time that it hurt the people I care about. And so now I question everything. I'm tired of people at church thinking I'm the perfect person that I can never live up to.

Let me live
I don't want to be the rock stuck in the stream
I want to choose
I'm tired of the treadmill
I want to be alive again
Let me create, learn, dream, hope
Let me be alive

Maybe...

I might start blogging again.

Thankfulness for 2008

It's been a full year and I have so much to be thankful for. God has taught me a lot about trusting Him this year and given so many blessings.

The biggest news, of course, was my trip to Africa. I couldn't choose a picture that represented my whole trip, but I like this one. There were so many things that I was worried wouldn't work out (a smaller one -- how am I going to travel with three gigantic suitcases?!?) but God had plans for this trip that went far beyond anything I could hope for and used so many people to encourage and support me.


A little closer to home, I had a great trip to Mexico with my church building a school for orphans.



I'm teaching another year at Scott Lane with a new class full of new challenges. I love this class, and have had a lot of fun with them so far...


And of course, how could a year be complete without a trip to Disneyland...


So much more happened this year. It's in the every day experiences throughout the year that we grow and change and become the people we are. I'm thankful for all of you.

To end, here are some lyrics by Sanctus Real:

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything I surrender...
To...

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly

Bethlehem, Year 2

I love Bethlehem. I can't explain how great it is to be part of the performance and mostly part of such a great church family. I'm working in the wine booth and I'm innkeeper 1, since someone dropped out last minute. It's been fun.

My class went to the Children's Discovery Museum today. These are my favorite pictures:

Laughter

Things are getting better, I think. I've had a hard time this school year, especially with teaching and my whole work environment. This week I was afraid that I had lost all passion for working with children. But today was wonderful. The only thing I can say is that God answered prayers. Nothing was different, but I loved being with my students today. I feel like I'm slowly breaking through to my biggest trouble maker, Robert. I love this kid so much and it is hard to see him struggle inwardly so much. The best part of today was during a read aloud. I have Robert sitting right in front of me. He always talks and wiggles and gets up and sings and does whatever else he can to get attention. Today he started to get up and I stuck my foot out and it threw him back in his seat and he started laughing so hard and then it was a ripple effect of laughter and I could not stop laughing with tears rolling down my cheeks and I kept trying to get back to the reading but would burst out laughing again and that would set the whole class off again. It was so good to be in a happy place.